“I cannot take it anymore, please leave.”
A dear friend spoke those words to me, and I so much appreciate the strength and calmness, dignity and respect of him being true, in his moment in time.
Since a few weeks I can allow myself to deeply cry! Not the old personal poor-me cry, but much deeper, beyond words.
Please, if you can risk, read/listen with your gentle heart; my words are not intended to argue a point, but to reveal a simplicity and gentleness I was afraid of my whole life.
Mind is a powerful servant, but a cruel master; it took me so long to find understanding and gentleness in myself. Alone I was my biggest enemy and didn’t notice.
I allow myself to use scripture, not to sell you religion or dogma, but to welcome a common sacred ground; excuse my laziness to not come up with something new and exciting, for right now.
In writing I hear and feel myself; for something I cannot explain. Just listen with your heart, you are always safe! No thought or feeling can kill you.
It is so unbelievably beautiful this deep, deep peace, I unconsciously ran away from, for too long; so much unbearable misery and loneliness I couldn’t allow to be felt and understood. I even considered killing this body-mind, just because I felt so lost in myself.
Mr. Jesus – you awakening – says:
“In me you have peace,
in the world you have tribulations.”
Be gentle and playful with words, they are pointers, for yOur precious attention to rest back home.
I have no wish to bore or confuse you; we could talk for lifetimes and still miss the elephant in the room: this sacred, pristine here and now, that is not in time and space, that is not of the thinking mind-world.
Words can have at least two meanings, depending on “I”. When you say, think or feel “I” are you referring to Life/Reality/Love/Christ or are you referring to the temporary body-mind, you call “me”?
Risking to be gentle and playful, we are here together to debunk the deadly joke of suffering and misery; without love and forgiveness it hurts so much!
Dedicated to the greatest human discovery: just a tiny twist in Consciousness, the difference between hell and heaven.
“What seems to be, is, to those to whom it seems to be, and is productive of the most dreadful consequences to those to whom it seems to be, even of torments, despair, eternal death.”
William Blake
Sorry, it is still so easy for “me” to get distracted.
Me in this case is the sense of being a “personal” private entity, tossed into this world, longing to come home.
The “me” Mr. Jesus is using refers to the effortless Presence of “I am”, the sacredness of N🥰W, the pearl of great price, the peace that passeth understanding. Mind cannot enter here!
It is so unbelievably simple that It took “me” 57 years to lose the fear of my fears, to not be intimidated by thoughts and feelings, but to know and honor my Self, beyond name and form.
Please excuse my clunky words, I am just learning and unlearning so much, together with you.
It is easier to hurt than to forgive.
What an amazing mystery this Life!
Thank you for your bravery and openness ❤️.
Holger@Life-As.Art
PS: I am grateful for any feedback! I like what I wrote; but maybe for someone else it sounds preachy and too confusing?
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